The Virgin and Child with the Baptist and an Angel by Paolo Morando.
Two posts in one day, these are heady times indeed.
I was flicking through the repository of Ugly Jesus pictures that I've stored and came across this one, and was so flabbergasted that I felt compelled to share it with the world. Jesus is not strictly ugly. In fact he is disgustingly pretty and has more than a hint of the Fonze about him and he is the smug owner of a lemon, which is apparently used to allude to the weaning of Christ.
Okay, I gave up Religious Studies at a young age, but surely this is total bollocks. Sorry for the wartime language, but I've always been one to call a knave a knave. I googled "Jesus weaned lemon" to get to the bottom of this biblical quandary and after the inevitable torrent of jesus porn, evangelical whimsy and kindred horrors I found this which while not strictly relevant demonstrates the powerful intellects which have been given a new public voice by the internet and guide us morons into the light.
"I explain to my children as thus if you would visualize a lemon Jesus is the rind - the skin that actually was seen, the Holy Spirit is the juice that follows from the lemon and God is like the rest of the inside. A lemon is not just a rind and juice it is all parts which make up a lemon."
The word genius is bandied around with alarming regularity these days but EasternVesper (if that is your real name) you really are a powerhouse who have been given a voice that would have remained silent without the miracle of the web. Praise be. "God is like the rest of the inside" Such dazzling concision combined with unparalleled depth of thought makes all subsequent theological study redundant. Although, I'm not sure how pleased God would be (given his small minded, blood thirsty nature) to be compared to the pips and flesh of a lemon. Frankly, if my wife compared me to a lemon I'd feel a little disappointed.
Now, if this lemon nonsense shocked you what I'm about to say might really frazzle your minds. Who is holding the lemon? I initially thought it would be the long distant founder of the house of Del Monte or some such silliness and I was also sure it was a girl. Flowing ginger locks and pure complexion, a little biblical phwoar and maybe a schwing. But no. The individual with the lemon is a rather dishy looking John the Baptist. Ding dong. Ooh la laa. With her, sorry, his head coquettishly tilted teasing us with his juicy lemon he is a paedo-dream [which I'd like to trademark as I think it has a touch of class about it]. And what lovely knees. Frankly, it is all a bit homoerotic. However, because of this it gets the most important of all tags Heroin Apparatus Mental as this picture is just bloody odd.
you should use a larger typeface. I want to read your writing but its so darn small!
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